The beard tale...

Life with a beardo

My beardo and me

I am no fashionista. I barely manage not to commit any fashion faux-pas. And so when my better-half decided to enter the fashion game full on, I could only be nonchalant about it. I mean how much ever a man tries, he cannot go beyond a set of socially accepted fashion rituals – Denims became distress denims; pink and yellow became acceptable for men, Shoes can be worn without socks and so on. But it all changed with the advent of the beard game.

Beards have often been associated with intellectually advanced people - be it scientists, philosophers, sadhus and the like. So when my uber-cool husband decided to enter the beardies (or is it beardo? For want of a better word!) bandwagon, I was surprised. Little did I realize, the beard fever had by then had an iron grip on most men across the globe. Apparently there are as many beard styles as there are hair styles for women. Men are advised to choose the one to their liking and face shape. So much work for the mane that naturally grows around your face!

It all started when my husband went the no-shave mode for a few weeks. I did not suspect anything till then. And then I would catch him watching videos – I mean, ‘How to grow beard’ videos. Still I was naïve enough to think, ‘this too shall pass!’

And then came the products – beard grooming products. Who knew there was an entire industry dedicated to this! The truth hit me then and I realized my husband’s facial mane is here to stay for really long.

So first it was a beard trimmer, something that will keep the beard in the Goldilocks zone – not too short, not too long. I would see him spending minutes on end in front of the mirror, inspecting every angle of his face, trimming, re-trimming, re-re-trimming, until there is that perfect symmetry he was looking for.

But still he was not satisfied. As if to challenge me who uses a shampoo, conditioner, masque and a serum every time I wash my hair, he invested in an assortment of products aimed at making the hirsute face more metrosexual. And suddenly our dressing table immediately saw some new entrants. There was beard oil which was a perfect blend of some carrier oil and essential oils. It was meant to keep the beard glowing and skin moisturized. And his normal soap/face wash suddenly became his foe, what with their antagonistic behavior towards his beard! He had to switch to a separate and more advanced beard wash. This is an elixir for those of you who don’t want to deprive the beard of its sheen and natural oils. The list doesn’t end here and beard industry is working at break-neck speed to come up with new and innovative products that you never thought you ever needed. I gave up when he bought a hand-made wooden comb from the US which is specially made to groom the beard. (Phew!)

After about a few months, the beard was in its complete glory. My husband puffed his chest when he received compliments about his beard from people. Sometimes he would acknowledge or receive acknowledgments from random strangers with similar (or sometimes different) beards. Some kind of eye to eye communication it was, as if they are part of some secret brotherhood.

Flaunting the mane

The most difficult part is meeting relatives. An average orthodox family generally likes their men well kempt and clean shaven (except of course, when there is a societal or religious requirement to it). So we often get raised eyebrows and curious questions as to why he is growing such a long beard (The common question being, ‘Has he pledged his hair for Tirupathi?’). Fashion and trying to ape the trends of the world never really seem to satiate their inquisitiveness. And all we can do is just smile and wave.

But over time, I should say I have grown to like this bearded face of my husband. It has given him a purpose and a presence in the fashion game. When I see him invest time and effort into grooming himself, it only drives me to do more and groom myself even more. As Keats would say, ‘A thing of beauty is a joy forever’. But I reckon, I wouldn’t be saying that when he moves on to sporting a man-bun!